When You No Longer Have to Hide

“As our isolation from COVID ends, push your essential self to emerge from its lock-down as well.”

The isolation I endured last year felt like a throw-back to my childhood trauma. 

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My Momma, a mid-century Southern version of Marilyn Monroe, was the heart of our home. She cooked, decorated, held her babies. 

And rarely, if ever, left the house. In consequence, neither did I.

Our furnishings were stark, and there wasn’t access to information like there is today. I lacked the input and experience to formulate plans and do something with my life. 

I was like a computer not connected to the internet—a fast processor and adequate memory but no code. Though my prospects were endless, I didn’t know they existed. 

So I would twirl around in my mind the few possibilities that I knew existed. I would feel the music in color or dream of myself as the star in a new sitcom.

My public school offered a reprieve from the seclusion. I collected every piece of information I could find there and stored it away. It was sad, though, my school back then. Just bits and bytes fed to us with no guidance on how to process the data to develop something new. And there were no extracurricular activities to offer a break in my immutable environment.

I did venture out a bit the older I got. Momma would send me to the local convenience store to buy her cigarettes, which turned into my habit as well. As I’d walk, petite and alone, down unpaved roads, pick up trucks loaded with day workers would whistle and cat-call. 

Their sexual inuendos made me feel wrong and unsafe. The world was a hostile place–my mom was right about that. 

And so you can see the parallels for me to this last year. I relived those feelings of isolation, lost experiences, and concerns for my safety should I venture out.

The last year is also a metaphor for all who have been closeted or closet themselves to remain safe. Those who lack opportunities, skills, and training. And those who are different and misunderstood by more elite society.

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Venturing Out.

From my experience, I can tell you: when you come out of hiding, you will feel awkward at first. You will be leaving the protection of your safe, albeit confining, place and enter a world unknown.

And you won’t yet realize who you entirely are. I didn’t understand who I was beyond my simple home. But soul development never stands still. And all those years created a longing inside me to be more, to accomplish and see and change. And your lack has made you desire so much more.

As our isolation from COVID ends, push your essential self to emerge from its lock-down as well. Because you may have been hiding from more than a virus. You may have closeted your true self in multiple ways. 

Consider if you might be ready to come out and be you, finally.

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Explore the world and the possibilities for you.

Accept that you won’t always know what to do next on your hero’s or heroine’s journey. Because, like me, you’ve never learned how to navigate this open, new world. But now, through the adventure that awaits, you will learn how to write your own scripts, processes, and programs. 

You have to do it. Take that step out.

It will be like stepping through a black and white door into full technicolor. 

I’ve been there, and I know what’s coming for you—a universe of hard things and wonder and beauty.

I got you. You can do this.

Tami Green, is a life coach, writer, and social media influencer. Her mission is to empower those who have gone through difficult experiences.